


Lou-wheezy

by InkSilver



Category: Bob's Burgers (Cartoon)
Genre: After the Valentine's Day kiss, F/M, Louise Being Louise, Set after Season 7 Episode 9 "Bob Actually", Short, Written in the present tense
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-25
Updated: 2017-10-25
Packaged: 2019-01-22 23:15:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 989
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12493060
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/InkSilver/pseuds/InkSilver
Summary: Things have been awkward between Regular-Sized Rudy and Louise since their Valentine's Day kiss. Whenever he tries to talk to her about it, she creates any and every excuse to run away. Until the field trip to the tide pools, when they get paired up by Frond's "innovative" Buddy System.





	Lou-wheezy

Regular-Sized Rudy can’t wrap his head around Louise kissing him on Valentine’s Day.

He avoids her for a week, then two, as he thinks about things. She’s always been nice to him. Sometimes he can even catch her off-guard with a joke, like when they had first really met on the train and he’d pretended to be deathly allergic to chocolate. He likes her laugh and he likes spending time with her. When he talks, she mostly waits for him to finish rather than talk over him. Her siblings are nice, and even her dad is pretty cool. And he’d liked the kiss – he had even liked the slap. When he thinks about how he feels for her, he gets butterflies in his tummy.

Finally, Regular-Sized Rudy decides to talk to her. He tries to catch her after school as she starts to walk home with her siblings.

In his wheezy voice, he calls out, “Louise! Can I talk to you for a minute?”

Louise turns her head to see who’s calling her, and when she sees that the speaker is Regular-Sized Rudy, her eyes widen and she takes off in a flat-out run.

She yells to her siblings over her shoulder, “I just remembered I have something important that I have to do right now with very important people that I’ve actually been planning to do for a while! I’ll see you at home! But I’m not going home right now! Not at all! I have more  _important_  people to meet than those weirdos waiting at home!”

And she’s gone, turning at the first corner, out of sight.

“Maybe she has to poop!” Gene says. “Though why not just say that? You should be proud of your poops, like me!”

“Yeah, and like Dad,” Tina agrees. “If he didn’t warn us not to go in the bathroom for a while, we’d die from the fumes.” She turns to Regular-Sized Rudy and adds, “Sorry, you just missed her. Louise had to go do something important with very important people that she’s been planning for a while. Without us.”

“Yeah, I heard her,” Rudy says as he bends forward, hands on his knees, gasping for breath.

—

Louise avoids Regular-Sized Rudy for weeks. Whenever he approaches her, Louise always comes up with some excuse and leaves very fast.

Every time Gene teases Louise about running away so often, she says, “I always have something more important to do. Far away. Anyways, I’m  _not_  running away. I’m departing in great haste.

Weeks later, their whole grade goes on a field trip to the tide pools, and they all pile into smelly yellow school buses.

When they arrive at the tide pools, Frond tells them that he has an “exciting surprise program” that he is implementing today. He had decided that the kids would benefit from leaving their comfort zones by being paired at random for the duration of today’s field trip. And so he explains that until everyone is paired up, each student will select a slip of paper out of a hat with the name of their safety-partner.

“You must stick to them like glue!” Frond trills.

“What if I get paired up with a girl and she needs to go to the bathroom?” a boy asks.

“Then you will accompany her to the bathroom, and patiently wait outside until she’s finished. And don’t wander too far! You must stay within sight of the teachers at all times. Now, let’s start the selection process!” Frond practically sings, pulling a large magician’s hat from behind his back with a dramatic flourish.

When it’s her turn, Louise tries to pretend that the paper she draws is blank and put it back into the hat to pull out another, but Frond intercepts her paper just in time. It has Regular-Sized Rudy’s name on it.

Louise groans and joins Rudy with the already paired-up group off to the side, waiting to go exploring.

Regular-Sized Rudy knows this is his chance. After ten or so minutes of awkward exploration, when they’re far enough away from other kids, Rudy turns to Louise and takes a deep breath. As fast as his lungs allow, Rudy says in a rush, “Louise-I-really-like you-will-you-please-be-my-girlfriend?” He wheezes, trying to catch his breath, waiting for her answer.

Louise thinks fast. She makes a lot of jokes and talks a lot of talk, but in truth, she doesn’t really understand why boyfriends and girlfriends do whatever it is they do. Though she reluctantly admitted to herself weeks ago that she had liked kissing Regular-Sized Rudy, but she still hasn’t decided how she feels about maybe, possibly, probably having feelings. However, whenever she thinks about him and spends time around him, she does get this funny warm feeling in her belly.

She narrows her eyes, and asks, “What do you mean by girlfriend? What do you think couples do?”

Regular-Sized Rudy takes a ragged breath and says, “I-I think they hold hands? And they probably kiss on special occasions maybe?”

Louise deliberates for a moment, coming to a decision. She nods, “Okay. I’ll be your girlfriend. But we _only_ kiss on special occasions.” She pauses a moment, considering, then adds, “Can I slap you sometimes? If I ask first?”

Rudy is stunned by her agreement. “S-sure,” he says, awestruck.

The two kids focus their attention once more on marveling at the hermit crabs and poking at sea anemones.

Sometime later, shortly before they’ll be called back for a lunch break, Rudy asks, “Can I…Can I hold your hand?”

She hesitates only for a moment, then says, “Sure,” trying to sound uncaring in order to mask the excitement in her tummy.

Louise turns her face away to hide a smile as Rudy takes her hand. She likes the salty-dry feel of his hand in hers. Their cheeks grow pink as they focus with extra attention on a starfish in a nearby pool, hands still clasped.

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: This world and these characters belong to Bob’s Burgers – I merely played with things. I do not claim ownership of these characters or world, I just had fun writing this story.
> 
> I wrote this for my boyfriend, who loves the show very much. And then I tried to save it as a draft on Tumblr, but it just disappeared when I did so, so I had to re-write it from memory. It’s my first attempt at writing Bob’s Burger fanfiction and I'm pretty happy with it.
> 
> Originally posted on my Tumblr.


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